Two faces of grief
by mtm
Summary: When tragedy strikes there are many ways of dealing with it. Hotch learns this the hard way.
1. Chapter 1: The first observer

**TWO FACES OF GRIEF**

_My grief lies all within_

_And these external manners of lament_

_Are merely shadows to the unseen grief_

_That swells with silence in the tortured soul_

_-William Shakespeare-_

**Author's notes:** Don't own them. This is my first attempt at a multi chapter story so all reviews and suggestions are welcome. Enjoy the story!

**Chapter 1: The first observer**

The wind lifted up stray leaves and made them swirl around in an intricate dance, rising higher and higher. The leaves seemed to chase each other along the quiet street, sometimes getting caught in the lining trees and well kept bushes, which contributed to the dance of leaves as the winds shook them. The dark clouds that had been gathering at the horizon were covering most of the sky now and their bellies were heavy with rain. An eerie silence had ascended on the neighbourhood as even the birds had fallen silent seeking refuge in the face of the coming storm.

The street was empty at this early hour, only few lights were seen in the houses where the people were early risers. The houses and the gardens were well kept and they were built just so to give some privacy from the people on the street.

The unfolding storm had two attentive observers.

Unseen by the slumbering people, a car travelled down the road. Even those who were up wouldn't have paid any attention to this vehicle thinking that it belonged to one of the residents on this street. The car was a dark government issued SVU and most of the residents were government employees.

The car clearly had a destination in minds as it slowed down in front of a blue, wooden villa with lots of children's toys on the porch glimpsed through the well kept, thick bushes. The car drove slowly by and then disappeared around the corner and did not return.

Few hours later, people with dogs going for a morning walk looked at the skies worriedly, hurrying their dogs, wishing that the rain wouldn't start quite yet, but then a lightning streaked across the black clouds and a loud crack of thunder preceded the wall of rain that was released from the clouds.

The man standing between a large oak tree and bramble bushes paid no attention to the now pouring rain. He was dressed in dark green and black rain gear with the hood up therefore blending in perfectly with the vegetation. His attention was solely on the building in front of him and he was patient. He would wait here, not moving, until his time came.

From the blue villa a blonde woman came out with her husband, kissing him goodbye, watching as drove off to work. She went to pick up the morning paper straightening her back with a grimace and it became visible that she was pregnant.

The thunderstorm was now in full force and a lightning nearby must have hit a transformer as all the lights went out in the houses on the street. The woman hurried inside, but was stopped near the trees of her garden by a dark silent figure. Nobody heard her scream as thunder rolled back and forth on the sky.


	2. Chapter 2: The second observer

**Chapter 2: The second observer**

Hotch sat next to the window, watching the thunderstorm quietly relieved that it was going to be a dark, stormy day. It would make today easier. He turned around and went to unplug the main phone in the living room, he switched off his mobile and then checked that the main door was locked. The curtains he left open as the day seemed to be heading towards similar darkness and melancholy that he felt.

All his colleagues knew not to bother him on this day. Even the few people he called friends knew to leave him alone. Also Hailey, who lived close by with Jack and her new partner, knew that today was the one day in a year when Aaron Hotchner wanted to be left alone unless something dire had happened to Jack. Usually Hailey sent Jack to her parents for few days around this time of year, so he wouldn't feel unhappy about not being able to see his father.

Hotch had moved closer to his ex-wife to be able to see Jack more often and it happened to make his commute to work a bit shorter too. Jack had been very happy and it also helped Hailey now that she was pregnant again. Hotch and Hailey's partner, Scott, got along reasonable well, which had made the situation that much easier for everybody concerned. Scott had also understood that Hotch was Jack's father and asked Jack to call him Scott, which Hotch appreciated.

Today was the day when two years ago The Reaper had confronted Hotch at his apartment and had shot him. The Reaper hadn't been able to finish his job, as Morgan had been on his way to talk to Hotch about his need to take some time off and he had heard the shot. Morgan had kicked the door in, tackled and killed The Reaper.

Hotch had been bleeding badly, unconscious and had flat lined twice in the ambulance. He had been rushed to the operating theatre and while he had been on the table fighting for his life for 8 hours, Morgan had called the team and they had held a vigil at the hospital.

He did survive against all odds. His stubbornness was for his favour when he went through long rehabilitation and was finally discharged after four months in the rehabilitation wing. He resigned as the Unit chief in BAU to the distress of his team, who nonetheless understood his decision and supported him, which made it easier. He took up teaching in Quantico, where he was welcomed with open arms and he proved to be a very good and popular lecturer. Occasionally he still did some consulting for BAU, but only if it was Dave who came calling. He did still see his former team. Reid came to play chess with him, Dave came to just have a quiet drink and a chat, Morgan usually brought Garcia with him, who taught Hotch to become very proficient in cyber space, Emily and JJ tended to come together with Henry and bring laughter and brightness to his house, which it sorely lacked. Few times a year, they tried to gather for a meal and then they brought the newest member of the team along; a large, gentle and brilliant man called Adam Stone. Unknown to the team Hotch had kept an eye on the man before and had recommended him to Dave, when he took over the team.

He had gone on with his life outside BAU even if it had been very difficult to start with and to be able to function and to deal with all the emotions rolling inside his head, he took this one day off every year allowing him to feel depressed, bitter and lonely, but only on that one day. Otherwise the feelings would overwhelm him and he wouldn't be able to carry on with his life.

Today was that day and the world had joined him in his silent misery providing darkness, rain and the high winds.

Hotch's thoughts went back to that day in the hospital when he had awoken from the week long coma and had been told the consequences of the gun shot wound. The bullet had caused lots of internal damage, ricocheting from his ribs all around the abdominal cavity, finally lodging itself in his spinal cord. The doctors had been able to retrieve the bullet but the road to recovery was long.

Hotch sighed and turned away again from the window. He might as well go back to bed for a while as it was only 6 am and he would welcome the sleep as he hadn't slept well on the previous night. He went to his bedroom and with practiced moves lifted himself out of the wheelchair to his bed, where he made sure that his legs were lying comfortably, closed his eyes and fell asleep again to the sound of rain drumming on the roof.


	3. Chapter 3: The case

**Chapter 3: The case**

JJ was sitting at her desk in her office sorting through all the requests that came for BAU. Files were piled up high on her desk, on the chairs and also on the floor. There was a method to her madness and she knew exactly where to find a certain file if it was needed.

BAU had been as busy as usual, but she had been more careful which cases to choose after Hotch had departed to give the team time to adjust to changes. Although that had been few years ago, it had taken time for the team to function without their boss. Luckily it had been Dave who took over so they had a familiar face leading them and the new member of the team, Adam Stone, seemed to fit in remarkably well. The phone rang startling JJ out of her thoughts.

"Agent Jareu", she answered briskly.

What she heard made her go pale and still.

"Yes, sir. Please email all the files to us immediately. I promise that our team will have a look into the case once they are all in. Thank you." JJ said and put the phone down. She had a bad feeling that this was going to be a very distressing case for all of them.

JJ waited for the email, clicked it open and prepared her presentation to the team. What she saw just confirmed her suspicion that this was going to be hard. Her thoughts turned towards her son, Henry and how lucky she was to have him. She sighed, by the looks of it this case was going to take all their time so she wouldn't be able to see Henry as much as she wanted.

JJ grabbed the folder she had just made and headed to Dave's office. The older man was already there which was typical for him. Sometimes it felt that whoever led BAU needed to be insomniac and a workaholic. JJ glanced at the bullpen and saw Reid coming in, his ever present bag slung around his thin shoulders, a large coffee cup in his hand and still blinking away the last of sleep (or confusion, you never knew with Reid) from his eyes. She gave him a little wave and Reid smiled back. JJ knocked on Dave's door and while she waited a reply, she saw Emily and Morgan come in already mock fighting like siblings. Once she stepped through the door, she could see Stone silently sit down on his desk.

"Good morning JJ" said Dave and then looked at her face more closely and added "or not so good, what is it?"

"A case just came in and it's not good" JJ replied.

"Eight women murdered around DC area in the last three months, the latest victim was found this morning in Woodbridge." JJ said. "They think they have a serial killer on the loose."

"Let's get going then." Dave replied getting up from his chair and once outside leaned over the railing and told the team that they had a case.

Emily and Morgan could tell from the look on Dave's face that it wasn't going to be good and they slipped back into the professional role of an FBI agent. Reid jumped up from his chair and followed the two in while Stone was keeping the rear. Garcia was also called from her lair and a burst of colours took a seat next to Morgan. Once they all settled around the big table, their attention was focused solely on JJ.

"I received a call this morning from the police department in Woodbridge, Virginia. There have been eight murders of women around DC area in the past three months and they found the ninth victim just few hours ago. They are convinced that they have a serial killer in their hands." JJ brought up the files of women.

"The age range of victims is from 17 to 46, we have Hispanic, White, Black American and Japanese ethnicities. Two of the women were stay at home mothers, one was a nurse, two were high flying attorneys, three worked in menial jobs and they lived all over DC area. Why do they think they have a serial killer? Is there something linking these women together? " Morgan commented going through the papers in front of him.

Emily tilted her head and agreed with Morgan. "There doesn't seem to be much that connects them. How did they die?"

JJ took a breath and said "They were all pregnant, ranging from five months to term. The MO was the same in all of the cases. The Unsub cut their throat, and then proceeded to cut through their stomachs."

"Performing a caesarean section on a deceased mother is rare but it happens. In England between 1994 and 1996 13 perimortem caesareans were performed and two babies were born alive but one died shortly after." Reid said and then added "However c-section should be performed within 4 minutes to increase the likelihood of survival of the baby."

"But there is more, isn't there?" asked Stone quietly, who had been studying JJ and seeing signs of distress that the blond agent didn't show often.

"Yes" admitted JJ and visibly pulled herself together.

"The Unsub cut into their stomachs immediately after killing the women, but he didn't care about the babies. Many of them showed signs of cuts and lacerations, which were caused by a knife, although none of the babies were killed outright. They died in their mother's wombs without being removed. The only things that were missing were the umbilical cord and the placenta." JJ continued.

"So we've got an Unsub that targets pregnant women, kills them, cuts into them removing umbilical cord and placentas and leaves the babies to die within their mothers?" Emily asked horrified.

"Looks like it and considering that this morning a ninth victim was found, we need to make this quick." Dave said. He turned towards JJ and asked, "What do we know about the ninth victim?"

"I just received the email and haven't had time to look at it, but here she is." JJ clicked her pointer and a picture appeared on the screen.

JJ continued without looking at the picture, "Her name is Hailey Ericsson, 36 years old mother of one, five months pregnant with her second child."

A horrified silence had fallen and when JJ looked around she could see eyes wide with horror, except for Stone who looked around alarmed. JJ looked at the picture behind her and a file dropped from her weak hands. She covered her mouth horrified and took few steps back and fell down into a chair that Dave had pulled out quickly.

Stone was still looking around clueless and Dave finally said "That is Hailey Hotchner, ex-wife of our previous unit chief. She must have taken her maiden name after the divorce."


	4. Chapter 4: The news

**Chapter 4: The news**

The team was stunned. The cases had touched them personally many times, but it was always unexpected.

"Oh, poor Hotch", whispered Garcia tears in her eyes.

Reid asked hesitantly "Do you think Hotch has been notified?"

"No", said Dave without hesitation. "You all know what today's date is and unless someone has gone to his door, he won't know."

JJ weakly said, "We have to tell him."

Then her eyes went wide, "What about Jack, where is he, has someone told him?"

Dave answered "Most likely he's with Hailey's parents as usual. JJ, could you call the police department and ask them if they can hold off notifying the next of kin for a while? I think it might be better if Hotch would tell Jack. I can contact Scott and Hailey's parents as we need to talk to them anyway."

"I will go to Hotch's place alone. He's already vulnerable and this doesn't help." Dave said. Then he started rattling of instructions and the team became a flurry of movements.

"Garcia, look at the victims and see if you can find anything else common to them apart from pregnancy. Morgan, you and Emily go to the latest crime scene and see what you can find. JJ, go to the police department and liaise with them. Reid, go with her and start geographical profile. Stone, go and talk to the families of the previous victims. I will go and talk to Hotch. I'm sure we'll go straight to Hailey's parents so I will talk to them too." Dave finished and rose from his chair. The rest of team now had a purpose and they would make sure that they worked hard to bring this particular Unsub to justice. Even if a team member wasn't directly involved, they knew that Hotch still cared about Hailey and who the team cared about deeply was their previous boss.

"Dave, if Hotch needs anything, please tell him that we are all here to help." Said JJ as she hung back after the others had gone. Everybody in the team with the exception of Stone, who didn't know Hotch, had tried to help him after the shooting, but Hotch had seemed to be most receptive to Dave and JJ.

"I will, but I doubt that he will say anything. You know how he is. The lecturing has softened him up a bit, but he's still as stubborn as hell." Dave sighed. He took off after the others leaving JJ to look at the smiling face of Hailey, until she switched off the computer and left for the police station.

Dave was driving to Woodbridge and he was contemplating how to tell Hotch the bad news. He had to go to his place personally as he would have switched off all the phones. Hotch was trying to show a brave face and usually he could fool anyone, but Dave knew how frustrated and angry, and also depressed the younger man was since he lost the ability to walk. It did help that he had to go to work every day and that the students and other lecturers respected and liked him and that he saw Jack often. Without all of this, he would have given up long ago. The team thought that their previous unit chief was strong and made of steel, but Dave knew that behind the mask, Hotch was struggling. And it didn't help that the man let himself grief only once a year.

Dave was driving now through hard rain and high winds and cursed. This would make all the evidence disappear unless the CSI's had been very quick. He looked at the sky and it didn't look like the storm would ease off anytime in the near future.

Dave turned onto the quiet residential street and a little way ahead, he saw the gathering of police cars in front of a blue, wooden villa and was just in time to see Morgan and Emily to get out of their SUV, both of them looking at the sky angrily and pulling their FBI coats on. Dave drove past and gave them a little wave as he continued. His destination was a bit further down the road and soon enough he stopped his SVU in front of a single story house, painted dark green, partly hidden behind trees and bushes. The house looked lonely and forgotten, the garden was tended but there were no flowers in pots, no wind chimes, and no toys, nothing to indicate that someone actually lived there.

Dave stepped out of the car and walked along the little path to the porch and knocked on the door. He looked around but didn't see any lights on inside, despite the darkness of day due to the storm. He looked around and noticed that there weren't any lights on in the whole neighbourhood, even though he could see faces peering out of the windows. He knocked again, louder this time.

"Aaron, it's Dave. I need to speak to you."

Dave waited and finally he could hear the lock clicking and the door opened. Hotch sat in his wheelchair, pale and eyes bloodshot. He clearly hadn't shaved for few days and he wore sweatpants and a t-shirt. He looked at Dave and wordlessly backed into the house leaving the door open. Dave followed him in and closed the door.

When Hotch got up on that day, he dressed comfortably but didn't see any need to shave. He didn't have the energy for it. He didn't have any appetite either so he went to sit next to the window where he had been few hours earlier. The storm still raged and the electricity seemed to be off in the whole street. He could see that some of the neighbours were looking out of their windows and quite a few had taken a walk further up the street and it looked like something might have happened, but Hotch didn't care. Today was his day to feel and he didn't want to know what else went on in the world.

He turned his wheelchair around and went to the kitchen. The kitchen along the whole house had been modified so he could move around without obstacles and he could reach into every cupboard, but all this reminded him that he would never walk. People would always look at him pity in their eyes and today it made him angry. He wanted to throw things, to smash all the plates and cups to destroy everything, but he couldn't. He couldn't do that to Mrs. Mendez who came to his place to clean every week. Although he was angry, he made sure that he wouldn't inconvenience others. He had destroyed half of the house few weeks after he moved in and when he saw how devastated and worried Mrs. Mendez had been, he tried not to do it again.

Hotch reached for a bottle of Scotch from the cupboard and put it into his lap. He then turned around and took a glass out of the dishwasher. He almost dropped it when all of the sudden there was a knock on the door. He was so used to being left alone on this day, having his phones off and all, that he had forgotten that someone might actually walk to his door and knock. He ignored it.

He went to the living room and settled the bottle and the glass on a table. Then the knock came again, this time accompanied with Dave Rossi's voice and Hotch's hand stopped in midair. It must be something really bad if Dave came over on this particular day as he had always shown that he understood why Hotch needed to have this day to himself.

Hotch went to the door and opened it. Worried and anguished looking Dave looked at him. Hotch looked at him for a while and then turned and returned to the living room. He heard Dave closing the door and following him in.

Dave sat down to the armchair and said, "I'm really sorry that I had to come today, but there is something I need to tell you."

Hotch looked at him and Dave could see he was tired and all his defences were down. Dave cursed the Unsub for doing this on this day.

"Hailey was found murdered this morning in her front yard." Dave said gently.

Hotch looked at him and looked like he hadn't heard a single word. Dave could see a small tremor in his face, which then crumbled and the stoic man in front of him broke.

Dave rose from the chair quickly and was kneeling next to his friend, settling a hand on his shoulder. "I'm so sorry." He said quietly. The old Hotch wouldn't allow any comfort, but Dave knew that since he was shot, he occasionally allowed people close to him to be there for him. And even though they were divorced, after Hotch moved close to Hailey and Jack, they had been getting along well and this would a blow to Hotch as he didn't have that many people close to him anyway.

"What happened?" Hotch asked hoarsely.

"She was found this morning few hours ago in her front yard. Her throat had been cut." Dave hesitated as if debating whether to tell anything else, but knowing Hotch, he would want to have the whole truth even if it hurt him.

"Her stomach was cut open and the umbilical cord and the placenta were removed." Dave added while looking at Hotch closely.

"What about the baby?" Hotch asked quietly.

"The Unsub left the baby in the womb. I'm sorry Hotch, but the baby is also dead." Dave answered.

"She told me about the pregnancy few weeks ago as Jack had realised something was going on and would have told me anyway. She was so happy. And now she is gone." Hotch said closing his eyes. Dave saw few tears escaping and slowly falling on top of his hands where he held them in his lap, clutching them together so they were nearly white.

"What about Jack? Has anyone told him yet?" Hotch suddenly asked opening his eyes and looking at Dave in horror.

"Tell me that they haven't sent a cop to Hailey's parent's house. I need to be the one to tell Jack." He pleaded.

"I will take you there and you can tell him yourself." Dave reassured him.

"I will talk to Hailey's parents at the same time and I will send Adam Stone to talk to Scott" Dave continued.

Hotch was still reeling from the news, but managed to tell Dave, "Scott's surname is Harrison. He works at Quantico at the accounting department, you should find him there."

"You go, shave and change, I will let Stone know." David said pulling his phone from his pocket and dialling the agent. After confirming that Stone would go and talk to Scott Harrison first, he told him where he was going. Hailey's parents lived a few hours' drive away and he would take Hotch with him.

"Take your time and look after him", was the response from Stone, which once again made Dave happy to have him on the team. Hotch sure knew how to pick agents, he thought to himself.

Once Hotch was ready, they went outside to the still raging rain and wind and Dave helped him into the SUV and deposited his wheelchair in the back. The two men drove away in silence, one thinking about how the other man was handling all of this, while the said man was thinking how he was going to explain to his son that he would never see his mother again.


	5. Chapter 5: The beginning of the answers

**Chapter 5: The beginning of the answers**

**Author's notes:** Sorry about the slowness in updating. As usual the real life tries to intervene and work has been bad. But I hope you are still reading and enjoying the story

Emily and Morgan stepped out of the car pulling their jackets on as it was raining heavily. Emily saw Dave driving past and giving them a little wave. Emily was deeply worried for Hotch, but knew that she had to push those feelings aside and concentrate on the case as she would in any other occasion. She saw Morgan looking at her and knew that he was thinking the same thing.

They walked up a little path, past several pale, ill looking police officers. They came to a halt near the trees, where a body was covered with a sheet. When they looked at it, it was difficult not to think that this was someone who had gone out for drinks with them, who had showed them her first baby and who above anything else, had at one time loved Aaron Hotchner and had been loved by him.

"We waited for you before taking her away", said the medical examiner standing next to the body with the sheriff.

"Thank you, that's much appreciated", said Morgan looking down.

"What can you tell us?" asked Emily.

"It looks like she went to get the morning paper", said the sheriff pointing at the mail box close to their parked SUV. "She was wearing her pyjamas and a dressing gown and was walking back to the house when she was taken completely by surprise. There are no defensive wounds, just the cut to her throat... and her abdomen", he continued looking shaken.

"The cut to the throat was quick, very efficient and she probably bled to death very quickly. Then her abdomen was cut, clearly not to save a baby as it wasn't an incision that is commonly used with caesarean sections, but rather to get into the uterus with minimal fuss and as quickly as possible. What I have seen, the placenta and the umbilical cord were extracted carefully", the medical examiner said.

He continued, "I would say that whoever did this, used a scalpel based on the clean cuts and obviously knew what he was looking for. He also managed to get the placenta out intact as well as the membranes and as much umbilical cord as possible, which is not always easy."

"Sounds like someone with medical background", commented Emily.

"Or someone performing dissections as the incisions were very accurate and the mess is minimal. He must have had some kind of container as there is very little blood and her placenta would have still had pumped blood at 500 ml per minute, so for some reason he wanted to catch all the blood as well as the placenta and the membranes", the medical examiner replied.

He then looked down at the body and said sadly, "It was going to be a little girl. The baby was 22 weeks of gestation so it wouldn't have survived anyway, but who would do such thing and why?" he then asked baffled. It wasn't often that he asked these questions in his line of work, but then it wasn't often that something like this crossed his path.

"We don't know yet, but we will find out", said grim looking Morgan. "Have you been able to find any evidence around her with this rain going on?" he continued, finding it difficult to call Hailey something more anonymous like a body or a victim. It was already hard enough to hear all the details how she and her baby had been killed.

"We found some boot prints and cigarette butts behind those trees where it's still fairly dry", the sheriff said pointing to the trees.

"Please let us know as soon as possible what you lab finds. Maybe if we are lucky there is some DNA left in those butts" Morgan said.

During this exchange Emily had been walking around the area and now emerged from behind the trees.

"He definitely waited there for some time, so this couldn't have been some random attack. He must have known when her partner usually left for work and would have needed to arrive early enough not to been seen by anyone. But it's odd, there were some people up at that time with their dogs and according to local police, nobody saw anything unusual", Emily though aloud.

"Let's go and talk to the neighbours" Morgan agreed.

They spent the morning by talking to the residents on the streets, but the answer was always the same. Nobody had heard anything or seen anything unusual. When they pressed, one thing seemed to crop up time after time. Three of the people had noted that a SUV similar to theirs parked in the front of the house, had driven past during the early hours of morning, but nobody had thought it anything unusual as there were many government employees living on the street. Nobody could remember the licence plates or anything else except it had been a dark SVU. Emily and Morgan finally decided to drive to the local police station as they were drenched, they were hungry and now they were frustrated as they felt they hadn't really found out much. On their drive over, Morgan called Garcia.

"Baby girl, tell me you have found something", Morgan pleaded their technical analyst, while placing the call on speakers.

"I'm sorry gorgeous, but I'm still doing searching. The victims didn't seem to have much in common at all. They worked and lived in different areas, they went grocery shopping in different shops, their doctors were all different in different locations, they were booked into different maternity hospitals, but fear not, my lovelies, I'm still digging", Garcia finished.

"Could you look into the cars of the residents on this road?" Emily asked. "Some of the people saw a dark SUV driving past sometime early in the morning, but they all thought it must be somebody living there as the car and I quote: looked exactly like yours, government employee written all over it, unquote."

"I will look into it and find out where they all work, when do they leave their houses in the morning and what they have for breakfast if you want me to", Garcia replied confidently.

"We don't think the Unsub lives there, but he knew where Hailey lived and targeted her specifically so there must be something that links her to the other victims. And this SUV is the only useful thing we have. The medical examiner seems to also think that the Unsub might be someone with a medical background or have experience in dissection", Emily added.

"Have you heard from Dave? How's Hotch taking all this?" Garcia asked worriedly.

"Sorry baby girl, we haven't heard anything yet and I don't want to interrupt them. I'm sure Hotch is mortified, but knowing him he will find it difficult to show. And he will want to talk to Jack. Dave will call us when he's ready", answered Morgan with a sad voice.

"We are going to the police station now to see what JJ and Reid have found and hopefully they have come up with something. It just doesn't look to me like this Unsub is specifically experienced in this sort of thing, with all the cigarette butts left behind and all, but rather he has been very lucky that nobody has been able to connect these cases together until now. Hopefully we are able to catch him soon" Emily told Garcia.

The rest of the drive to the station was quiet as Morgan and Emily were thinking about the case. Once they parked in front of the station, they got out and grabbed their bags with them as it was still raining cats and dogs. They needed to change into dry clothes, otherwise they would get a cold soon.

When they walked in, they were directed to a conference room, where Reid was pondering in front of a white board, where a map and the pictures of all victims alongside with all the information they had about them, were pinned up. Reid was deep in thought and didn't notice Morgan's and Emily's approach and jumped up in the air hearing Morgan's voice.

"What's up kid? Have you found something?" Morgan said.

"Hmm, sorry. Didn't hear you coming in. I can't put my finger on it, but there is something that connects all the victims, I just can't see it yet", Reid said continuing studying the map. "Did you find anything? Have you heard from Hotch?" He then asked as if suddenly remembering that there was something else outside the map.

"The Unsub was definitely targeting Hailey as he knew her routine and he was waiting behind the trees for her. He did leave cigarette butts behind so we are hoping to get a hit with the DNA from them. We also think that he might have a medical background", Morgan answered.

"Where's JJ?" Emily asked looking around.

"She has been talking with the local police officers who don't have that much experience how to handle the media and she was also preparing a statement. I haven't seen her for a little while though" Reid answered and looked across the bull pen to try to locate the blond agent and saw her walking towards them looking worried.

"That was Dave. He's going with Hotch to see Jack, who is with Hailey's parents at the moment. He sent Stone to talk to Scott after he's finished with the other victim's families and he asked if someone could go with him" JJ said.

"I will go", said Emily quickly. She liked the quiet agent and he was fast becoming a good friend to her. The whole team liked him, although he still was given rookie jobs once in a while, when the team wasn't thinking although he never complained about it.

"Call him, he's coming this way before heading to interview the rest of the families this way and then he's going to Quantico to talk to Scott. Apparently he has been in some meeting with local mafia accountants and we haven't been able to get a word through to him yet." JJ told Emily, who proceeded to make the phone call immediately. When she closed her phone, she asked the question that everyone wanted to hear.

"How's Hotch?"

"Dave said that he took it badly. He seems to be able to function though as long as he is concentrating on Jack and they are heading to him now. Dave is worried about Hotch and promised to stay close to him as long as he can. He suspects that Hotch wants to become involved with the investigation to keep him busy and to help him with the grief of losing Hailey while he has let down his walls to grief his injuries and all else that he has lost", JJ told the other agents. She was troubled by what Dave had told her, about how Hotch had started crying in front of him, but she wasn't going to share that with the others. Dave and her were the closest to Hotch and she liked to think that Hotch trusted them enough to show his true feelings. She knew that Dave spend some time with Hotch several times a month and they seemed to be able to talk fairly freely.

JJ also tried to visit Hotch as often as possible, usually with Henry in tow as she knew Hotch liked the little boy and the gush of life and laughter he brought with him. Earlier she had gone to visit him alone and had told him about how she cared about him, but at that point he had mistaken that for pity and had closed off completely. After that she still visited, but usually with Henry and occasionally also with Emily in tow. They had developed a comfortable friendship and Hotch seemed to trust her more nowadays, so she wasn't prepared to jeopardise that just to make herself feel better.

Stone came to pick up Emily leaving Morgan and Reid to ponder about all the possibilities. He was relieved to know that Dave was with Hotch as although he didn't know the man that well, the few times he had met agent Hotchner as well as what he had heard from the team, he was certain that the man needed all the support they could give. While he was driving and Emily was gazing out of the window, he thought about the few times he had met Aaron Hotchner. He had had few talks with him about a position in BAU if any ever became available as there was talk that the unit would get more funding, but after the global economy took a nose dive, that had been postponed. He had been very happy when he heard about his transfer to the unit, but his joy had become sour when he heard why there was a vacancy. He never knew it, but Hotch had kept an eye on the agent for some time as he proved to be exceptionally gifted in making leaps of logic based on little evidence, and he was usually correct. He also worked well within a team, but kept himself at a distance as he didn't trust people easily. He got better along with people, who weren't that clear cut and that was one of the reasons Hotch thought that he would fit well into the existing team of BAU. But now they had work to do and Stone shifted his thoughts to the case in hand.

"What do we know so far?" he asked Emily softly.


	6. Chapter 6:The hunt begins

**Chapter 6: The hunt begins**

Hotch sat quietly next to Dave as they drove towards Woodbridge. Hailey's parents had understandably been very upset about the news, but they appreciated that Hotch had come personally to tell the news. Despite of his problems with Hailey, he had stayed in touch with her parents, first for Jack's sake, but later for the sake of their friendship and support. Especially after his shooting and his health problems, they had helped him a lot and Hotch often joined his son to see them.

Telling Jack that his mother was dead had been one of the most difficult and horrific things Hotch had to do in his life. The minute Jack had seen his face, he had known that something was wrong. Father and son had left the room side by side to go out to the porch and Dave and Hailey's parents had stayed inside to give them privacy.

Despite of his young age, Jack had looked at his father seriously and then climbed onto his lap. Hotch had quickly put the brakes on and had held his son as close to him as he could. Then he had quietly told Jack that his mother had gone to live with angels in heaven and that he would from now on have her only in his heart and in his memory.

Jack had thought about that for a while and then said, "But I still have you daddy. And grandpa and grandma. She will have other angels to play with and she can see us whenever she looks down, can't she?"

Hotch had smiled through his tears and replied, "She can and she will always be proud of you."

They had talked about angels after that and Jack seemed to have understood that his mother was dead. Hotch had relished the feel of his son in his arms and all too soon the boy had become restless and had hopped down from the wheelchair and ran in. Hotch had stayed at the porch and as expected Dave had soon come to join him and had sat with him for a while in comfortable silence.

They had left soon after that. Hotch had agreed with Hailey's parents that Jack would stay with them for another two weeks as planned as there was no reason to disrupt his routine and after that he would move in with Hotch. For now Hotch needed to concentrate in finding Hailey's killer.

When they approached the Woodbridge police station, Dave gave Hotch a sideway glance and asked, "Are you sure you are ready to do this?"

Hotch had insisted that he help the BAU team to profile this Unsub and had called Quantico already to cancel his lectures. Luckily at this time of the year, he usually didn't teach much anyway and he had been granted to take time off for two weeks without any problems. Dave knew the team would be ecstatic to have him back, but he was still worried about Hotch. He wasn't the most mentally stable at the moment.

While Hotch called Quantico, Dave called JJ and told her the news that Hotch would be joining them.

"How is he?" was JJ's first question followed by, "Are you sure he can work so quickly after everything that has happened?"

"We will keep an eye on him. I understand his need to work and to help to catch this Unsub. Hopefully it won't take too long" Dave answered aware that Hotch was listening to every word.

"Could you tell the rest of team the news? We should be there sometimes in early evening, so we can all meet up and see what we have" Dave continued.

"Will do. Please tell Hotch that we are all happy to see him and that we are so sorry for his loss" JJ asked before disconnecting.

"You probably heard that, didn't you?" Dave asked Hotch dryly as he could tell the younger man was eavesdropping. At least he had the grace to look slightly embarrassed and he looked down and closed his eyes and was soon asleep. Dave hadn't realized how tired the other man was but he was glad Hotch could get some sleep before they arrived at the station.

Hotch woke up when he felt the car coming to a stop. He rubbed his eyes and looked around. The police station looked vaguely familiar in a way that a place will look if you drive past it enough many times.

Dave had parked next to a vacant place so he could easily transfer himself to his wheelchair. The station also had a ramp so he didn't have to ask for Dave's help. Hotch noticed that Dave was glaring at the officers to get out of their way and the surprised looks the officers had on their faces when they saw that the consultant BAU was getting in was sitting in a wheelchair. Hotch had seen those looks too many times for his liking, but this time he was focused on something else and didn't pay them any attention. He followed Dave into a large conference room full of people.

The minute he wheeled in, the avalanche of people was non stoppable. JJ ran to him and hugged him, Morgan was shaking his hand like a maniac and Garcia jumped him in a flurry of colours and scents. Emily was grinning like mad and hugged him quickly giving way to Reid who didn't know what to do and kind of hugged and shook his hand at the same time. The last one to shake his hand was the new agent, Adam Stone Hotch remembered, and whatever he thought he saw in his eyes, it wasn't pity.

Dave interrupted the reunion by clapping his hands few times.

"We all love to have Hotch back, but now we have work to do. What do we have?"

All the interviews Stone and Emily had done didn't really reveal anything new, Garcia hadn't found anything regarding the SUV and Reid was still baffled with his map. They had gotten a DNA sample from the cigarette butts, but they didn't have anything to compare it with as the owner of the DNA wasn't anywhere in the databases. The mood in the room was grim.

While the team started brainstorming and flinging possibilities around, Hotch studied the map Reid had hung up. He was rubbing his hands down his thighs like he sometimes did when he concentrated on something and wasn't aware of what he was doing. The team noticed this but decided not to disrupt his thoughts.

"Did the other women sign up for cord blood banking?" Hotch suddenly said. The team went silent and looked at him baffled. Reid leaned back in his chair and visible went through the data in his head.

"Yes, Maria Menendez's husband mentioned that they had been to introduction evening at Stemhope two weeks prior to her attack but they hadn't decided yet whether to sign up or not", Reid answered looking at Hotch.

"When Hailey was pregnant with Jack, she wanted to explore the possibility of collecting stem cells from the umbilical cord in case Jack ever became ill and there were treatments available that could use stem cells. We eventually decided against it, but I don't know whether she was thinking about it now that she was pregnant again." Hotch explained.

"I just remember that one of the facilities was located in the middle of DC area as they used that in their advertisement, that they were within easy reach to most of the maternity hospital so they could arrive swiftly to extract the blood from the cord after delivery", he continued and went closer to the board.

Emily was already on the phone to Scott while Stone started calling through the other victim's families. Garcia was busy typing on her laptop bringing up information about facilities that provided cord blood banking and when she started shouting their locations Morgan was putting red pins on the map.

Reid started talking excitedly, "Embryonic stem cells are collected from the cord blood and blood from the placenta. They can also be collected from the amniotic membranes that surround the baby. They are predicted to become a cure for almost everything, although the technology isn't advanced enough yet. And the research has been stalled by the previous government and it's only now starting again, so it's not many laboratories that are using embryonic stem cells in their research as they are not easy to come by."

"Maybe some scientist or doctor became too inpatient", murmured Dave.

"Hailey and Scott also went to an introduction evening at Stemhope" Emily said coming off the phone.

"So did all the other victims" said Stone after few moments when he finished his calls.

They all looked at the map with the pins and Morgan voiced what all of them could see, "Stemhope lies in the middle of all the red pins so it looks like this is our breakthrough!"

"Garcia, get information about all the employees at Stemhope and whatever other information you can get" Dave ordered.

"Yes, sir", was the enthusiastic reply and Garcia started typing.

Hotch looked at all the activity around him and felt more confident that maybe they would catch this Unsub soon. The team were praising his insight and it made him feel useful and he even smiled a bit.

JJ saw this little smile on the face of the exhausted looking man and suggested to Dave whether they would have a little break to eat something while Garcia worked her magic. Dave agreed immediately and they ordered Chinese takeaway and when he went to ask if the other officers would like some, he noticed that only the night staff were still at the station. It was much later than he had thought.

The other officers gladly joined their meal and offered their on call room for the team to sleep in if they needed it. Hotch thought about declining, but he was exhausted and he was almost toppling over in his wheelchair. He looked around and saw Reid sleeping leaning on top of his papers on the table. JJ was rubbing her eyes tiredly and even Morgan was yawning.

Garcia looked up from her computer and told the others "Go to sleep, darlings. I will tell you as soon as my babies have dug up all the information there is about Stemhope."

Hotch couldn't understand how the technical analyst still looked as fresh as she just had woken up, but for once he didn't argue. Neither did the rest of the team and they all headed towards the on call room, where they found four bunk beds. While the others were good naturedly arguing who would sleep where, JJ came to stand next to Hotch and quietly asked, "Do you want to take the bottom bed in the first bunk bed?"

Hotch had been looking at the beds and was feeling discouraged as it would be difficult to get into them so he was grateful to JJ for thinking about him.

"I think that would be the only bed that I can get into", Hotch admitted looking up at her. He had forgotten how kind and considerate the blond agent could be, not forgetting either how beautiful she was. Hotch mentally slapped himself, "You shouldn't be thinking those kinds of thoughts at this time. What's wrong with you?"

"I just need to go, uhm, to the bathroom first", Hotch mumbled and headed out of the room.

JJ turned around and told the others where Hotch would be sleeping. She would take the other bottom bed next to Hotch's one and Reid and Dave would take the other bottom beds. Emily and Stone would sleep on the top beds.

Hotch had done his business in the bathroom taking his time as he was waiting for the others to settle in first so that they wouldn't pay too much attention to him. When he slowly wheeled himself back to the room, only JJ seemed to be still awake.

"I will give you a hand", she said not waiting for Hotch's arguments.

Hotch was too tired to argue and after today's events his defences were so low that he was grateful that someone cared and showed it. He set the brakes and lifted himself onto the bed while JJ lifted his legs up and tucked him in. Hotch felt foolish, being tucked in like a child, but he had to admit that it felt nice. JJ sat next to him and they just looked at each other for a while.

"I will always help you if you let me, Hotch", JJ said seriously and smoothed his hair off his face without seeming to notice what she was doing.

"I just wish you would let me do that more often", she continued softly.

Hotch had been enjoying her touch as he couldn't remember when was the last time a woman had touched him in other capacity than as a nurse or a doctor, but when he heard the softly spoken words, he lifted his hand and circled JJ's hand in his larger one, just holding it and feeling it softness. He shifted her hand to lie against his cheek and as she didn't protest, he pressed a small kiss against her palm and released her hand.

"Thank you JJ", he said hoarsely without looking at her as he didn't want to see the pity and revulsion that he was sure he would see in her eyes.

To his surprise JJ leaned down and pressed a kiss on his forehead and softly said "Goodnight" and got up and lied down on her own bed. It took a while for sleep to catch up with Hotch's thoughts.


	7. Chapter 7: And the hunt ends

**Chapter 7: And the hunt ends**

Hotch woke up feeling rested. His thoughts went to the last minutes before he fell asleep and he turned around to look at JJ, who slept in the bunk next to him. She was fast asleep so he could study her without reservations. All of a sudden a voice startled him.

"You should let her in, she cares about you deeply", said Dave quietly coming into the room. He was the only one awake.

"Will left her about 6 months ago and she has been struggling ever since. I'm sure you have noticed that her visits had become more frequent?" Dave added.

"I didn't think..." Hotch started and stopped in mid sentence looking at the slumbering agent.

Hotch felt odd, happy about hearing that Will was out of the picture but sad that JJ had to go through a break up. He also felt torn as his ex- wife was just murdered yesterday and here he was thinking about another woman.

"Don't overanalyse it, my friend. When you see an opportunity for happiness, take it. God knows you have deserved it", Dave said and left to hunt breakfast leaving Hotch to think about his words. He didn't get very far with that as Garcia's shout could have been heard to the next precinct.

"I found him!"

That startled the rest of the team awake making Reid to jump up in the bed hitting his head at the top bunk with a resounding whack. Emily was heard cursing about the loudness of the place and Stone quietly climbed down from the top bunk like he hadn't been asleep only seconds before. JJ stretched and came to help Hotch without any discussion or any comments from the others. They seemed to think it was natural that JJ was helping Hotch.

"Thank you. For this" Hotch waved his hands vaguely "and for last night" he finished looking JJ in the eye, determined to find out if Dave was right. And what he saw shook him to his core. The blond agent was looking at him with such a tenderness and love that he didn't know what to say.

"You are welcome", JJ replied smiling and helped him into his wheelchair.

Hotch grabbed her hand and held onto it while he looked her in the eye.

"We need to talk after this case is solved", he said seriously, but then again placed a small kiss against her palm.

"We will", JJ promised and blushed to which Hotch responded smiling. Together they went to the conference room to hear what Garcia had dug up.

The team was gathered around Garcia's laptop and were looking at a picture of a white man in his forties.

"This is Greg Jones, 43. He has a PhD in Genetics and medical engineering and he works for a government research lab in Washington. His research group is studying how stem cells grown on protein scaffolding can be used to treat spinal injuries" Morgan said.

"He also volunteers in Stemhope collecting cord blood from maternity hospitals but there is no records of any complaints against him or any samples going missing" Reid continued.

"His wife was injured five years ago in a car accident and was paralysed. He started his research on spinal cord injuries soon after. She also lost their first baby in the same accident" Emily read from the screen.

"But that was five years ago, why start killing three months ago?" Emily continued baffled.

"His wife passed away four months ago", Garcia answered.

"That was the stressor. This must be our man", Dave said. "What's his address?"

The team gathered their guns and vests and informed the sheriff about their findings, who insisted of sending patrol cars with them. They raced to their cars, Dave taking Hotch and JJ with him, Morgan taking Reid and Stone driving with Emily.

They arrived at the house of Greg Jones early in the morning as they had woken up early at the station. The team hoped that they would be able to apprehend the man before he woke up and thus avoiding confrontation.

"You stay here" Dave said to Hotch when he and JJ left the car.

"Ok, just keep me updated" Hotch replied understanding that he wouldn't be able to participate in this part of the team's work.

He watched the others run towards the innocent looking house on a quiet neighbourhood and saw them splitting up, Morgan and Emily creeping around the back. Dave was trying the door, which was open and he, JJ and Stone slipped quietly in. The patrol cars drove around the house to park at the back.

Hotch heard a knock on the window and turned around. He saw a man wearing a cap with a coffee and a bagel in his hands. Hotch rolled the window down to hear the man ask, "What's going on?"

"FBI business, nothing to concern yourself about", Hotch answered and caught a glimpse of the man's face and an approaching fist which connected to his face. Darkness took him.

The Unsub had left his house early as was his habit due to insomnia to get something to eat. He would go to the lab soon and on his way to the local coffee shop he was thinking about the current batch that showed lots of promise. The stem cells had bound well to the protein scaffolding, which was stable enough to withstand the stresses of being injected into mice and it looked like it was going to be enough to inject into the spinal fluid and not further into the spinal cord itself. He was walking back to his house when he saw the people come out of SUV's and run towards his home. He waited for a while and approached one of the vehicles as it looked like there was someone still sitting inside. He glanced at the back seat and saw a wheelchair and thought that might explain why the person inside wasn't participating invading his house.

After he knocked the dark haired man unconscious, he hopped on the driver's seat and found the keys still in ignition.

"What idiots, this is too easy!" he thought and drove away.

Finding nothing at the house, the team gathered in the front of the house. Dave looked over to Hotch and to his surprise didn't see his car.

"Where's my car? And where is Hotch?" he asked no one in particular.

The team ran towards the cars and saw an old woman coming out of the house opposite to where they were parked.

"That Jones hit the man in the car and drove away" she said running out of breath. The team left the police officers to look after the old lady and take her statement, Morgan was already frantically calling Garcia.

"We need location of Dave's car and we need it now! The Unsub has Hotch!"

"Give me one second, I'll track the GPS in his car", Garcia said and continued "I've got it, the car is heading towards the research facility, he must be going to his lab!"

The team drove fast, breaking several traffic laws but fortunately at this early hour there weren't that many people or cars around. They arrived at the research facility and run into a guard who gave them the instructions to Greg Jones's lab after seeing their FBI credentials. The team ran along the long, sterile corridors.

Hotch recovered his consciousness slowly and to a blinding headache. He was sitting in his wheelchair with his hands bound with duct tape. Apparently this Unsub wasn't stupid. Hotch opened his eyes and saw Jones drawing something into a syringe.

"There is no escape, they will come to get you. You should give yourself in", Hotch said while looking around trying to see if he could somehow escape. Jones saw him looking and smiled sadly.

"I know there is no escape and I'm not looking for one. But I'll be damned if my research comes to nothing!" Jones said and stepped closer to Hotch with the syringe in his hand. He walked behind Hotch so he couldn't see what he was doing. Hotch felt completely exposed and helpless. Just then a door crashed in and he saw Dave followed by the rest of the team.

"Step away from him and drop the syringe", Dave said while pointing the gun at Jones.

"Sorry but I can't do it. I know you will shoot me anyway and I'm ready to join my dear Lucy, but you will not undermine my research!" Jones shouted and plunged the syringe to Hotch's neck.

Several gun shots were heard, but to Hotch these seemed to come from underwater as he lost consciousness and darkness took him again.


	8. Chapter 8: The new beginning

**Chapter 8: The new beginning**

Vague sensations floated around him. He felt heavy and comfortably warm. He could hear beeps and humming, he could smell the new crisp sheets and the overwhelming odour that was hospital. What finally alerted him and prompted him to surface to consciousness was the absence of pain in his legs. Since the shooting his leg had ached and the doctors had called it a type of phantom pain although he still had his limbs.

Hotch opened his heavy eyelids and tried to focus on his surroundings. He knew he was in the hospital as his memory came back. The feel of the syringe forcing its way through his skin, hitting the vertebra and sliding in between the bones to penetrate the membranes surrounding the precious spine. Panic welled inside him, the lack of pain can't be good! He wiggled his fingers and was relieved to find that they seemed to move normally. He was also breathing on his own. Probably he hadn't obtained any new injuries then. His legs were as still as before when he tried to will them to move.

After completing his little self check, Hotch concentrated on the room. He was alone in the room. There were only two monitors next his bed, one for taking blood pressures and the other an ECG machine, which was the source of the steady beeping. On the table on the other side of the bed was a jug of water and a glass with a straw. Hotch fumbled around for a bit until he could reach the bed controls and adjusted the bed so he could reach the water. He took the glass with hands that shook from the effort and took a sip. The lukewarm water soothed his sore throat, which he suspected was from a breathing tube.

Still everything was quiet and nobody came to the room. Hotch enjoyed the silence and closed his eyes and drifted back to sleep only to wake up few minutes later as a nurse stood next to his bed and was removing something from his hand.

"Not a good idea to fall asleep with a glass of water in your hand, Mr. Hotchner. You will end up with a wet bed", she smiled down to him.

"How are you feeling?" She continued.

"I don't feel any pain in my legs and my throat is sore" Hotch blurted out with a raspy voice.

"You will be fine. I'll ask the doctor to come and talk to you now that you are awake. Your friends have also been here and they will return in few hours when it's the visiting time", the nurse said while taking his vitals. "Do you need anything at the moment?" she asked.

"No, thank you. I would really like to talk to the doctor though", Hotch replied and saw the nurse nod and briskly walk out of the room.

The same nurse returned a moment later to tell him that the doctor was at an emergency surgery and would come to talk to him as soon as he was finished. Hotch was relieved to hear this as his eyelids were getting terribly heavy again and he was finding it difficult to concentrate. After the nurse left the room with a promise to come to check on him later, Hotch promptly fell asleep.

When Hotch woke up again, it was swifter and he felt more rested. He immediately could tell that there was someone else in the room and he opened his eyes to find JJ and Dave sitting next to his bed.

"Hey, how are you feeling?" asked JJ looking relieved and worried at the same time.

"We leave you for few minutes and you still manage to get into trouble" Dave gently berated him but then said, "You gave us quite a scare, you really have to stop doing it, my friend."

Hotch smiled at them and was about to answer when the door opened and Garcia whirled in with Reid, Morgan and Emily in tow. Stone followed in behind them closing the door behind him.

"He's awake!" Garcia exclaimed as she took in the man in the bed, "And not looking worse for wear", she continued coming to hug him fiercely. When Hotch was the unit chief, Garcia wouldn't have dared to touch the man, but since he resigned she treated him as one of her dear family, which she considered him to be a big part of.

"I'm ok", Hotch said hugging Garcia back.

"I'm waiting for the doctor to come and talk to me. How long have I been here?" Hotch continued as he realized he didn't know what day it was and by the looks of his friends he must have been unconscious for a while.

"It's been a week now", JJ said carefully not wanting to upset him.

Before Hotch could reply a doctor came in to the room.

"Good morning. My name's Doctor Thompson, I'm glad you have woken up", the doctor said and took the patient records from the end of the bed and had a quick glance them. Looking satisfied he replaced the records and looked around at all the people.

"You can talk in front of them. They are my family", Hotch said noticing the doctor's enquiring look.

"All right then", the doctor said and began.

"You were brought to us unconscious, barely breathing, a needle still sticking up from your neck. The needle had gone in deep and punctured the membranes protecting your spine, but hadn't damaged the spine itself. The force of puncture had been great though and caused a fair amount of swelling and temporarily paralysed you from neck down also paralysing your lungs and we had to put you on a ventilator, hence you might have a bit of a sore throat", the doctor pointed out, to which Hotch nodded.

"We kept you in medically induced coma until yesterday when the swelling had gone down so much that you could breathe by yourself and had gained the sensation to the level that you had before ", the doctor concluded.

"How are you feeling now? Any difference to what you were feeling before?" the doctor asked looking at Hotch intently.

"I feel fine, the only difference is that my legs don't hurt anymore, which should be a good thing", Hotch replied not missing the looks on the faces of his friends. He hadn't told anyone about the continuous pain in his legs.

"We'll conduct some further testing, but it sounds that you managed to escape without any further injuries. We have tested the syringe to find out what he injected you with and it seems to have been stem cells and scaffolding proteins from a very experimental research, thus we can't tell you exactly what kind of effect it will have on you", the doctor said.

"The good thing is that the research was geared up to cure spinal cord injuries, but the downfall is the it wasn't anywhere near close to be entering clinical trials", he continued.

A bleep went off and the doctor went through his pockets to look at his bleep.

"I'm needed in the OR again, I will come back later and answer any questions you might have", he said and left the room in a flurry of white coat.

Hotch looked at the people in the room and asked a question that had been on his mind since he woke up.

"What happened at the lab?"

Dave started to explain, while the others were injecting comments. They had ran into the lab to see Jones standing behind bound Hotch a syringe in his hand and when they had told him to stand down, he had plunged the syringe into Hotch's neck. That much Hotch could remember, he was more interested what had gone down after that.

They had shot Jones, and untied Hotch to find him unresponsive and barely breathing. The ambulance had been waiting outside as they had called the paramedics immediately after locating Dave's car fearing the worst. JJ had accompanied Hotch to the hospital while the rest of team had gone through the lab with the local police officers and CSI's. They had found his research diary and had been able to put together what had happened.

Jones had been a research scientist in medical engineering for the government before his wife was paralysed and their unborn child had died in a traffic accident five years ago. He changed jobs to be able to look after her and he wanted to cure her so he got a job at a research facility looking to find a cure to spinal cord injuries by manipulating stem cells.

They were working on old stem cell lines as federally funded facilities couldn't get hold of new lines and the progress was slow. Jones appeared to have started volunteering at Stemhope at that time and from his notes it became clear that he always took enough blood to be able to take some of it back to his lab. As none of the samples went missing, nobody at Stemhope noticed anything. His lab co-workers noticed that he became more secretive and wanted to work alone. They suspected that something was going on, especially when he started showing progress with his experiments, but they never called him on it.

From the notes he left behind, you could tell that his mental health was deteriorating. He couldn't grief the loss of their child in front of his wife who was trying to cope with her own injuries. He tried his best to help her, but she finally took her own life three months ago and that seemed to have triggered something in Jones and he became obsessed with his research. That is also when he started making very fast progress and based on the notes, he had just started testing his treatment on rabbits.

The reason behind fast progress was the fact that he was killing pregnant women to gain access to as much embryonic stem cells as he could extract. When we talked to the other researchers, they were horrified at what Jones had done and they were blaming themselves not confronting him with their suspicions. They asked to have his notes back after we are finished as they want all that horror to come to some good and as it looks like Jones was into something, they want to see if they can continue his work.

"Without killing anybody though", Dave finished.

Hotch felt very ambivalent, obviously it had been horrendous what Jones had done, but at the same time his work might help him or other people in the future. The BAU team obviously felt the same way, if the looks on their faces were anything to go by.

"So I'm the first human guinea pig", Hotch said quietly.

"No wonder the doctor was so curious about if I feel any different."

"There is nothing you can do about it, so don't worry about it", Dave said.

"The main thing is that you are alive and in no worse shape as you were before. Now you have Jack to think about", JJ said.

"Jack and Hailey's parents came to see you earlier, but as you were in a ventilator they didn't want Jack to see you like that", said Emily and just then the door opened again and a little boy came running through shouting "Daddy, daddy!"

Jack was swiftly lifted on the bed by Morgan and he hugged his father fiercely, to which Hotch responded in kind. Over Jack's head Hotch could see Hailey's parents entering the room.

"I was afraid that you had gone to see mum in the heaven and left me behind", Jack said and started crying. Hotch held him closer if that was possible and tried to comfort him. The BAU team took this as their cue to leave and they said their goodbyes with promise to come back the following day.

Dave ushered the team out giving Hotch some privacy. JJ lingered behind and although she was conscious of Hailey's parents she stroked Jack's head to comfort the little boy who now had calmed down and was lying next to his father. Jack remembered this kind lady who had often visited and who had brought Henry with her to play with him, so he didn't get upset although he felt he was too big for the affection she was showing.

JJ leaned down to kiss Hotch on the forehead.

"I'll come back later", she said squeezing his shoulder and left the room nodding to Hailey's parents, who had been watching the scene in front of them with warm hearts. They really hoped Hotch would find someone to look after him and they had heard Jack telling them about all the visits by various former team members, but he seemed to have been most fond of the blond woman who, they could now see, obviously cared a lot about the Hotchner men.

Hotch was released from the hospital after few days. The doctors had done all the possible tests they could think of, but hadn't found anything. They had made a follow up appointment for a month's time and had urged him to contact them if anything unusual happened.

Hotch was very busy for the next month with Jack moving in with him and getting into a routine, which was sometimes challenging as soon enough Jack was again a curious little boy, who forgot that his father was in a wheelchair. Hotch had Hailey's parents to help him and after finally having that important talk with JJ, she too helped a lot. The whole BAU team was around a lot more now that Hotch finally let them in.

One weekend, when Jack had been with his grandparents, JJ had come over and they had dinner and talked afterwards. Hotch was in awe that this kind, beautiful, intelligent woman wanted anything to do with him, but he was immensely happy and grateful that she did.

When she first kissed him, he froze with wonder but soon recovered and responded. That night they got to know each other, gently and shyly, taking their time. JJ was worried what Hotch thought about her stretch marks and other signs of her pregnancy with Henry and Hotch was worried about how she would react to seeing his legs with their wasted muscles. He was also terrified that JJ would leave him the moment she found out that nothing much was in working order from his waist down.

But Hotch didn't care. JJ didn't care. So that night they explored and enjoyed and fell asleep curled around each other and feeling that everything was going to be all right after all.


	9. Epilogue

**Epilogue**

Three months after the events in the hands of Greg Jones, Hotch showed up at BAU to bring JJ to work. They had moved in together with Jack and Henry very quickly and Hotch sometimes dropped her off at work before going to work himself. He had gone back to lecturing and now actually enjoyed it.

When JJ stepped out of the lift Hotch wheeling himself next to her, the whole team was already in the bull pen. Hotch greeted them warmly but felt nervous. He didn't know what their response would be to what he was about to do and he was still feeling ambivalent himself due to the circumstances around the events. But he wanted to show the team that there were good days, when the good guys made a difference.

Hotch parked his wheelchair next to Emily's desk and while the team were bantering between themselves, he stood up and took two hesitant steps towards them. The people in the room fell silent with stunned expressions and then he was faced with torrent of questions, smiles, laughter and hugs.

And Hotch stood tall and proud, grateful that from the grief and horror, something good had come out.

**Author's notes: **And that was all she wrote . I hope you have enjoyed this little story. Thank you so much for reading and all the comments you have left! I feel like I might have the courage to write some more after your kind feedback so maybe you will see me again...


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